Kisah Semalam, Hari Ini dan Masa Depan

10.2.2011

2011-02-14T02:23:00.002Z

yups..its been one solid year after the viva...
time fly really fast....
i still remember the 4 hours viva that ive to go through before being awarded the PhD with minor correction...
actually the first hour was quite tensed.. but it eased up after that as the external Prof Mihai was the one doing all the talking, left me to do a little bit of explaning when required... huhuhu...
the feeling when being called back to the room with result is out of this world.. theres no word to describe.....
and today.... i guess i lost all the mojo to do any research.... what a waste!!! hahahaha

11.1.11

2011-01-11T02:52:00.002Z

well its the eleventh day of 2011... i dont have any resolution.. hehehe.. :D
last year at this time of the year.. i was preparing for my viva while struggling to push the stroller on the icy road of nottingham to send budak kici to nursery... well times fly really fast n here i am in the hot sunny (err well not so sunny more to mendung actually)... Malaysia.. budak kici is with daddy.. been talking non stop :D
for the time being..i am quite dissapointed coz i dont have any UG student to do my UG project... all i have is multimedia student... for the time being i have to accept the current situation since we merged into a centre...
lately.. ive been thinking on doing attachement at my old uni... but im not sure whether im up for it... will see how...

2011-01-05T05:54:00.001Z

been neglecting this blog for quite sometime..
finally, im back ...
finished my PhD.. with entourage...1 hubby 1 son... Alhamdulillah..

will be writing more frequently i hope...

Intention to submit

2009-10-01T15:26:00.001+01:00

Today...Ive submitted the notification of thesis submission to the registry...
Sv said.. by dec u hv to submit it.... by jan Prof M agreed to hv e viva..

my reaction.... hopefully sempatlaaaaa nk siapkan suma2 ni..... en budak kici.. tolong mummy eh!!

Aidilfitri ini

2009-09-23T09:54:00.002+01:00

tahun ni kali ke 4 beraya di perantauan dan Insya-Allah yg terakhir di sini... sedang bertungkus lumus (yela tu) utk menghabiskan writing up ini.. .sesungguhnya writing up adalah fasa paling memeritkan.... lebih2 lagi utk saya yg tidak reti nk bermain dgn bahasa... alangkahhhhhhhhhh tertekan jiwa rasanya.... n kdg2 budak kici itu menjadi mangsa keadaan.... kesian tgk dia!!!

raya kali ini lebih meriah dari tahun lepas... hahahahah... sakan tahun ni....
tahun lepas gile pathetic raya kami.... dh le pindah umah sehari sebelum raya.. saya pula masih dlm pantang.... pastu elok first day raya tu adalah first day budak kici tu ke nursery... baru 44 ari dia dh saya antar ke nursery .. what to do.. mommy dia nk masuk skolah balik.... smpi skrg kadang2 rasa bersalah gak tapi Alhamdulillah sgt2 sbb cikgu2 dia kat nursery tu menatang dia bagai minyak yg penuh... manjaaaaa amat kat skolah!!!!!!

so tahun ni siap2 pakai baju raya (tahun lepas punya)... budakkici tu pun dh reti berjalan... so ngam2laa pakai baju raya pun tahun lepas gak... royal maillaaa punya pasal..diorg strike.. dh tak de baju baru budak kici tu.. :D e day before, saya siap2 kemas umah, adik ku memasak soto n dessert pastu lepas berbuka cik abg plak memasak nasi beriyani gum n daging kerutup.... budak kici tu ke hulu kehilir ikut saye kemas umah... errrr tolong sepahkan balik pun ada... gile semangat tahun ni.. siap sound kat hubby...jgn gatal nk p main golf... saya nk beraya tahun ni...

hehehe beraya laa sgt kononnya... padahal.. lepas je solat raya... makan2..kitorg p amik gambar kat part... abis2 posing.. p starbuck... hehehehe... actually itu adalah rutin kami di Malaysia... bukannya beria p umah org pun.. hehehehehhehehehe.. tapi saya puas hati!!!!!!! sbb dapat amik gambar bersama hero kici itu secara berhemah ........

then kitorg lepak kat umah je.. tunggu org dtg.. adalah gak org dtg nk abiskan food yg di masak.. abis tu takkan kitorg nk makan smpi abis.. hehehehehe.... around 9 pm ada plak org ajak p umah.. hmmm rasanya mustahillaa nk p umah org mlm2.. krg budak kici tu jadi hulk hogan..padahal rasanya dia sgt2la behave kalau kat umah org.. mak ayah dia je tak reti nk tido lewat.. hahahahahahhahahaha...

apa2pun ..... saya berdoa agar Syawal ini memberi makna pada si kici itu wpun dia tidak memahami.. at least ada gambar kenangan utk saya tunjukkan pada dia.. yg mak bapak dia ni tak laaaa pathetic sgt bila beraya di perantauan....

tahun depan.. kita round satu MALAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tercabarkah...

2009-09-15T12:50:00.003+01:00

its been so long i left this blog to be empty.. but today i need to rant on something..
i was having this YM with an old friend.. from one topic to another and it came to e topic who will cook for hari raya....
thats easy... hehehe.. of course my dear hubby will be the one cooking... nak harapkan saya... hmmmmm... setakat rebus nasi impit segera tu bolehla... saya mengaku saya tak reti nk buat rendang pun ....
i told her... since we have e baby.... he is the one who do all the cooking... n i will do the cleaning after that...
boleh dia ckp.... eh... ko tak terasa kewanitaan ko tercabar ke...
i was like... whattttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttt......
nyirap juga!!! i told her... nk tercabar apa... kata suami isteri.. give n take laa.....
ayooomaa.. ayoopaaa.. ini mcm pun ada kaaa..... ni belum saya cite cik abg saya yg jaga n mandikan baby dlm pantang ari tu...dialah yg buat keje2 umah sepanjang saya ngandung... hoover pun dia tak kasi pegang.... sejak kawin.. smpi skrg mmg saya tak pernah cuci toilet... so what... prinsip kitorg.. buat mana yg boleh... kita share2 apa yg patut....lagi2 hidup kat tpt org ni...we dont have any support system... nk idup pandai2 sendirila..so kena pandai2laaa nk idup...

lawakk ada... terkejut pun ada...

mcm2 ek....

Menghitung hari..

2008-06-24T11:17:00.002+01:00

dh masuk 34th weeks... kejap je kan... plus minus ada lagi 6 weeks to go... sebulan setengah dan masih ada experiments yg belum langsai....
well entry kali ni bukan nk cerita pasal jr di dalam perut tapi tentang seseorang yg saya sayang... amat sayang ... dulu2 saya pernah cerita pasal dia... he is my first nephew... born 6 years ago...
saya byk share mende ngan dia... byk sgt2.... byk masa saya habiskan dgn dia...
bila saya ada baby dlm perut... he asked me whether he can kiss my tummy or not..... aaaaahhh soo schweeet of him... rasa nk menitik air mata bila dia request cam tu.... dia siap say hi to the baby... and promised to accompany nina to look after e baby ..
he asked a lot of questions about e baby, how e baby eats, moves, tgk tv?? n so on....
dia membesar di depan mata saya.... dari budak yg sgt byk tantrumnya ..now he is more matured.. mcm tak percaya je bila dia boleh uruskan diri dia sendiri.... dah tak de ngamuk2.. mengalah ngan adik dia.... helps to do house-chores.... n he can speak fluently the english plus the UK slang... hahahaha.. lawak pun ye .....
bila i got married...ramai yg siap pesan kat i to make him understand that he cant have me mcm dulu2 lagi..... betull...dulu2, masa bujang..dialaaahh partner in crime saya.. kemana2 bersama... makan, mandi, tido, jalan2... segala2nya!!!!... it took time gak get used ... saya slow talk ngan dia.... made him have fun with the hubby..... cite how life are changing.... n masa baru2 kawin.. dia ada gak request nk nyelit tido ngan saya n hubby... alhamdulillah hubby memahami.... n alhamdulillah hubby is really good when it comes to kids..... one thing is.. he is sooo soft-hearted.. tgk keta accident, dia sedih... tgk org gaduh.. dia sedih......
FI... eventhough CN akan dpt my own baby but u will always have a special place in my heart.. always... coz i love u so much and u hv teach a whole lot new things that makes me a better person... CN doakan moga FI terus membesar sihat dan berjaya dlm hidup....

Wake up call by Jr

2008-05-21T10:54:00.002+01:00

he did not move a bit since sunday evening.. i was sick worried by monday morning, i rang the midwife by 930am, she advised me to have some cold drink, rest and some sweet thingy to wake him up... i did all that, shoving myself with biscuits, yoghurt and cold milk but till1130 there was nothing, i rang the midwife again... she said, how fast u can come to the hospital? i said in 15-30 minutes, ok, good then, come to the hospital as fast as you can and bring your overnite bag.. i was really in panic cause i dont pack anything yet.... and i was so worried about Jr.... i kept telling him, please move.... n do all the sommersault u used to have....
once hubby arrived from the office, we quickly walked to the Maternity Assessment Bay, they put the CTG and tadaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa... the heartbeats are as fast as normal... and he MOVES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! they put me there for the whole afternoon... checking this and that.... and he moves quite a lot!!!

Alhamdulillahhh.... its not the time yet Jr.. please make the debut on august.. mommy needs all the time in the world to finish all the experiements, analysis, reports and papers... please syg.....

right after that, we went directly to Mothercare to buy all the basic stuffs just in case... now at least if i have to go to the hospital before august.. i am at least prepared....

Glory Glory MAN UTD....!!!!

2008-05-13T10:23:00.002+01:00

Glory, glory, Man United,
Glory, glory, Man United,
Glory, glory, Man United,
As the reds go marching on, on, on.

Just like the Busby Babes in Days gone by
We'll keep the Red Flags flying high
You've got to see yourself from far and wide
You've got to hear the masses sing with pride

United! Man United!
We're the boys in Red and we're on our way to Wem-be-ly
Wem-be-ly! Wem-be-ly!
We're the famous Man United and we're going to Wem-ber-ly
Wem-be-ly! Wem-ber-ly!
We're the famous Man United and we're going to Wem-ber-ly

In Seventy-Seven it was Docherty
Atkinson will make it Eighty-Three
And everyone will know just who we are
They'll be singing 'Que Sera Sera'

United! Man United!
We're the boys in Red and we're on our way to Wem-ber-ly
Wem-be-ly! Wem-ber-ly!
We're the famous Man United and we're going to Wem-ber-ly
Wem-be-ly! Wem-ber-ly!
We're the famous Man United and we're going to Wem-ber-ly

Glory Glory Man United
Glory Glory Man United
Glory Glory Man United
As the Reds Go Marching On! On! On! (3x)

Bring on MOSCOW!!!!!

p/s: even the JR in the jumping joy mode when giggsy scored the 2nd goal at his 758th appearance... i guess he will be like me... the kipas-susa-mati of MU..instead of Liv like his daddy... :D hehehhee

bilakan smpi masa itu

2008-04-25T14:26:00.002+01:00

ari ni sorg lagi budak opis selamat viva dgn jayanya... minor minor correction plak tu..
bestnya kalaulaaaahhh saya berada di tempatnya.... i can see the happiness in his face..
saya berdoa agar dlm masa setahun lagi saya berada di tempatnya....
tiba2 tgh ada semangat baru.... en technician sibuk plak...tak leh nk setup the machine..takpe2..
ari senin..sepantas kilat akan ku usahakan... dgn pengembangan di bhgn perut ini..sukar skit nk angkat2 mende berat.... lagipun kalau larat sekalipun... tak berani nk memberanikan diri...apa2 berlaku nyesal tak sudah kannn....

hopefully...lagi setahun...saya juga bakal melepasi halangan ini... sudah semakin kurang kesanggupan utk tinggal di negara ini dgn lebih lama...

melompat ke dlm kesimpulan

2008-04-10T14:55:00.002+01:00

susah banget sihhh berurusan dgn org sebegini...
tak leh ke dgr explanation smpi abis... terus2 mau melompat...
adehhhh... bisa naik BP ni.......

Anniversary

2008-04-07T17:04:00.003+01:00

sekejap sungguh masa berlalu... tiba2 6 April dtg lagi...
Setahun lalu, tepat 9.30 kami rasmi bergelar suami isteri... kejap je kann dh setahun..
n he surprised me last nite... siap berkomplot ngan kekanak itu lagi....
konon2nya kena keje.. rupa2nya dia p BV to fulfill my dreams...
petang tu dia sibuk menebar roti canai... ada sorg lagi ibu mengandung mengidam...
dari ke petang membawa ke mlm...
dh selesai kemas2.. he went to sent the kekanak ribena balik rumah masing2...
saya dh siap2 nk tido dh time tu when he said to me..
"eh p check dapur, dh off ke belum?"
i was so grumpy... malas gile nk bangun... but i dragged my feet..... buka2 je pintu theres a candle... buka2 lampu je... wahhhhh ada bunga, ada balloon, ada present.... i was so shocked...
dia keluar meleret je senyum.....
saya ni praktikal orgnya.. kalau bday ke.. usually org akan tanya hadiah apa yg saya nak sbb i prefer to get something yg boleh digunakan dan diperlukan.... terbeliak biji mata saya bila tgk apa dlm paper bag tu..... mmg dh beberapa kali saya angkat letak mende2 ni tapi tak jadi sbb i want to save the moolahh for the jr......
dia siap minta maaf sbb kata dia keje..actually dia drive all the way to oxford to complete all this... siap ngan keta tak de minyak tgh jalan, ujan batunya... uiks.. mcm2 :D
apa lagi yg boleh saya katakan.... the thank you are non-stop... hehehehe.. .. rasa bersalah plak sbb i dun get anything special for him.... but he said to me.. 'dh byk dh yg syg bagi' huhuhu... time tu gak jadi drama queen....menitik air mata sehhh.... heheheh.... rupanya ada perasaan juga diri ni ye.. hahahahaha...

dear hubby.. thank you very much... tak bagi adiah ni pun i am so happy to have you by my side... :D ... u complete me....

doa saya.. moga ikatan ini sentiasa penuh dgn mawaddah dn rahmah hingga ke akhir hayat... ameen...

2 years

2008-02-26T09:37:00.003Z

Today.. it marks my 2 years of living in the land of robin hood, and also a big warning that im entering my 3rd year... huhuhu... scary sehhh...... I have lots of things to be done.... n i pray that i managed to finish everything on time .....
This 'migration' is some sort of the turning point of my life coz...
- i met the one that made me 'cair' and say yes to the commitment of the whole life;)
- i changed my status from miss to mrs...
- im carrying our 'love' now... and soon to be a mommy... insya-allah.... (hopefully everything will go smoothly)
- i left all the 'bad&ugly' past....
- im on my way in completing my one and only dream... hopefully i will pass this with flying colours (ameen)
- im e 'anak manja' that managed to be away from the family.. hehehe its not that easy... but ull never know it until u r in it.. hehehehehe....

Alhamdulillah for all the good, fabulous & everything that happened since day one i was here which was on 26/2/2006 @MAN....

p/s: to all the wishes.. THANX A ZILLION :D

So far...

2008-01-30T11:24:00.000Z

- during my early stage, setakat loya2 je... once masuk 2nd trim, saya muntah setiap rabu (dh 2 kali rabu dh ni)..... apa juga yg masuk kat mulut semua kuar balik.. tapi tak pe..at least ada gak experience muntah2
- tak tahan bau tumis2.... even bau minyak wangi pun tak leh....
- i quit coffee terus n amazingly i found out that the smell of coffee is weird... but my hubby gave the greenlight to take a sip of SB caramel macchiato.... thats heaven.... lepas minum skit terus gelak besar2..... :D
- dulu2.. my fav is mixed vege with oyster sauce.. now its a BIG NO.... i opt for steamed vege .....
- started to have mcm2 ache .... n yg peliknya... kalau dok office je musti i hv this tensed headache, sebaik saje melangkah pulang ke umah.. hilang semuanya!!!
- i hv weird dreams!!! a lil bit insomia....
- cant imagine myself in 4,5 months... serupa giant kot!!!!!

alhamdulillah...

2008-01-25T10:32:00.000Z

its 12 weeks 6 days already...

e EDD is 02082008, e daddy hopes the baby make his/her debut on 08082008, e mommy hopes everything will be ok..

dear readers.... pray for our health n hopefully everything will be smooth...

tujoh bulan berlalu.....

2007-11-06T09:27:00.000Z

7 bulan berlalu... cepat betul masa berlalu... masa plan for this wedding, i told everyone i want a very simple wedding, hassle-free wedding, mende2 remeh boleh diabaikan, sbb utamanya adalah kami berdua kat sini, so terpaksa bergantung harap pada mereka di msia utk prepare for this wedding... i gave them basic information, the rest tu terserahlah pada mereka dan saya berjanji pada diri sendiri takkan merungut skit pun... alhamdulillah semuanya berjalan lancar... He went back a month before the wedding sbb at his side dari pelamin, bilik tido n semua lil bit yg ada, dia buat dgn tangan dia sendiri ... well, im married to an artist kan.... sedangkan semua persiapan adik beradik dia yg lain, dia buat sendiri maka bila dia sendiri kawin, of course dia nak all out.... as for my side, semua sub ke pakar2 sbb kami2 ni semua kerastangan!! i went back tak sampai 10 days before the wedding, perintah berkurung pun cuma berjaya sehari sebelum majlis (tu pun bila my dad dh bersuara), the rest saya ke sana ke mari buat persiapan terakhir (n osso to enjoy the makan2 kat msia, balik skali skala kan... tak denya nk ingat nk jaga badan for the wedding), even nk mandi2 lulur pengantin pun tak sempat.... hehehehhe..... nenek dh pokpek pokpek sbb melasak kesana kemari... hehehehe tapi sungguhlaa weii..tak reti sehhh nk dok diam... sehari sebelum majlis, dok umah pun i on the laptop n try to prepare the journal paper... talking about kawin while tgh buat phd ni, separuh kepala for the majlis, separuh lagi dok teringat keje2 skolah yg tak siap... hehhehe...
actually sepanjang 7 months ni adalah lebih kepada process to know each other and to complete each other life.... kira mcm try n error in completing a jigsaw puzzle, jln kami masih panjang and saya berdoa agar kehidupan kami berdua diberkatiNYA dgn penuh mawaddah dan rahmah.....

Dear en hubby...
thank you for the wonderful 7 month and i want more!!!!

from,
pn beanie....

Syawal 1428

2007-10-18T13:55:00.000+01:00

10 okt:
last day of school.. hiks... girang sungguh rasa dihati.. sbb esok 'balik kampung' ..ramai ingat saya akan balik msia.... sbb girang banget... tidak3... sekadar bertandang ke SOT je... tapi the whole family ada.... kira raya kali ni complete satu family... mana tak girang gile... mlm tu tido 2 hours je sbb kemas umah, basuh baju n packing.... same goes to hubby... dia excited sbb 1st time nk raya ngan wifey... me too..... :D

11 okt: HAPPY BDAY KI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
pagi2 hari... p pasar... beli itu ini..cari arang sana sini.. jenuh tol nk cari arang as summer dh lama abis... minah saleh tu siap ckp... thats seasonal stuff..we dont sale it anymore... hehehe..
smpi je kat SOT.... excited gile..... peluk2 mama.. peluk2 baba.. peluk2 cq... gomol2 kanak2 itu... i realize one thing.. eventhough dh kawin.... baba n mama still treat me as their lil princess lagi... skit makan bersuap.... hahahahahaah.... mlm tu right after buka pose... KA called... dia raya jemaat.. while for us..still waiting... after calling here n there.. confirm raya friday... hahahahaha tak cukup kakitangan laa kat dapur kitorg.. hehehehe...... ingatkan raya saturday so boleh lepak2 skit mlm ni.. rupanya rayanya esok!!!!!.. while waiting for the rombongan takbir SOT dtg umah.. i helped hubby to prepare sate n kuah kacang.... while the others buat kuah lodeh, sambal tumis n nasi impit...... our last takbir raya from house to house was like ages ago.. when i was 11 years old.... huhuhuhu.... rasa sayu je bila dgr takbir bergema.... sayu sbb akan jumpakah lagi saya dgn Ramadhan akan datang... n adakah byk yg telah saya buat pada Ramadhan kali ini..... :((.... lepas itu dan ini..we slept almost 2 am....

12 Oct: HARI RAYA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
sambung masak2... hehehehhee.. then balik dari solat raya... as usual.... salam2 minta maaf....then makan time... while waiting for KA yg beraya atas train..... huhuhu..... KA smpi serentak ngan the ZA sisters.... apa lagi.. a mini reunion of primary school..... nasib laa jiran sebelah tak amok ..hehhehe sbb kitorg bercerita bagai nak rakkk..... ketawa kuat... smpi anjing sebelah umah pun marah... makan...gelak2.... bakar sate.... hehehhehee..... it was really fun fun fun fun........ after sending everybody home.... we dozedddd offf awal that nite sbb dh 2 mlm tido tak cukup....

13 Oct:
after breakfast.... ive baked the BnP pudding for SOT Malay's community open house... ada permintaan khas... hahahahaha.... then kami reramai ke carboot sales but ujan rintik2... so kurang menarik...... then we proceed to HCC.... jalan sana.. jalan sini.... n osso to get our minum2 SB ritual... hehhehe.... every year kena buat this ritual.. hehehehe.... that evening.... barulah semua berbaju raya n amik gambar.. siap pegi park lagi... dlm sejuk2 tu... hehehhehe... posing sana posing sini.. hahahaha....

14 Oct:
time to say goodbye... after another trip to CBS... we parted... the whole family p cardiff to send KA home, while both of us back to our home....... uwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...sedeyyyy gile..... smpi je umah... the reality hits me really hard..... sbb dh nak start masuk school balik with thousands of keje yg tak siap lagi.. huhuhu.......

thats our raya story.... akan saya ingat smpi bilaa2 kenangan beraya kali ini.. a special one..... n i got another raya present.... its in Pesona Pengantin Nov issue.... tak sabar nk tgk!!!!!!!!!

Salam Aidilfitri...

2007-10-10T16:44:00.000+01:00

Salam Aidilfitri to all..

this is our first aidilfitri together... :)
alhamdulillah, ba, ma n cq arrived safely on monday....
will be celebrating aidilfitri with the whole family....
cant wait for that....
tomorrow will be heading to SOT for our raya celebration... ma will cook my fav dish... iskk terharu plakkk rasanya....

to all who wish me in the previous post... THANKS A ZILLION.....

on EVERYTHING

2007-10-03T09:34:00.000+01:00

Ramadhan..
Alhamdulillah..this is my second Ramadhan di bumi UK ini... tahun ni mmg lain as dah ada hubby... alhamdulillah.... Ramadhan kali ni mmg kira2nya all my berbuka puasa i have a proper meal... as hubby mmg kategori expert tang masak2 ni... last year, i will throw everything in the wok and walla..... kdg2 tu pasta smpi 3 hari baru abis... hehehe.... kdg2 tu kalau tak larat.. mmg i opt for sandwich je..... this year... sebutlaa apa je... musti hubby masakkan... thank you so much syg..... tarawikh sama2... a new experience for me....

Study....
tang ni yg penat skit.... i feel demotivated this few days.. sbbnya tatau laaa.... probably so much work to do with so little time .... mcm mana tu.... en sv plak keep pushing me... ... he drilled me with 3 hours meeting... mula2 tu rajin gak menjawab dan berdiscuss..towards the end... sekadar angguk2 je lah..... kepala dh tak dpt nk fikir apa2 lagi dah time tu.......... rasa mcm nk menitik air mata sbb letih gilee time tu...... doa saya moga2 perjalanan saya ini dipermudahkan...amenn....

Life..
kejap betul masa berlalu....dh nak masuk 6 bulan bergelar isteri.... kdg2 tak terasa sgt pun as masing2 busy with work and study... but i feel complete and rasa eager to go back home..kalau dulu2.... i prefer to stay kat office lama2.. n balik bila dh semua org ada kat umah... but not now... kalau tau hubby dh balik...mmg terujalah nk balik... im still adapting to the new life..use to do everything on my own but now... kena fikir utk berdua... alhamdulillah...so far so good...dia faham ke'keras'an kepala bini dia ni.... but it took a lot of reasoning nk kasi dua2 faham... hehehe

One month

2007-05-08T10:59:00.000+01:00

mcm tak percaya... dh sebulan.. am still adapting... after almost 3 decade of handling everything on my own.. now i hv to think twice or thrice b4 making any decision.. the best part is.. i hv my own teddy bear... hihihi

PENAT

2007-03-15T16:33:00.000Z

saya penat...
saya letih...
saya tak larat...
mcm2 dlm fikiran saya...
mcm2 constraint yg perlu dihadapi..
kenapa...
kenapa...
kenapa...

ada UFO tak??

2007-03-12T16:59:00.000Z

rasa2nya kat luar sana ada UFO tak...
kalau ada.. boleh tak minta tolong dia..
kidnap saya kejap... atau..marilah kidnap school saya ke....
ini baru nk menunggu 1st year assessment...
org lain kata...tak de pape ... relax aa...tak susah mana..
well..itu org lain...saya...saya lain....
kalau sama...tak de lah variety kat dunia ni...
nnti UFO susah plak nk bezakan saya yg mana satu...
tapi kalau UFO kidnap..nnti saya rindukan bumi plak...
sedangkan duduk kat sini pun saya rindukan bumi malaysia bagai nak rak...
hmmm..kalau mcm tu... kidnap school saya je lah...
kan best..kalau tiba2 dtg school... ehhh school dn segala isi kandungannya telah di kidnap...

dun mess with us

2007-03-09T08:58:00.000Z

lama tak berupdate.. been back to msia for one month during the christmas hols n insya-allah will be back again in 2 weeks time for e big day.... hopefully everything will be ok... i hv my 1st assessment viva next week.... with him back in msia.. i am a lil bit lost n really tensed.. sometime rasa mcm dh tak terlarat lagi with all the pressure n everything.... but rasanya boleh cope lagi..

anyway... today mmg *%$£"!!!!!!!!!!!!!! few days ago mmg rasa tak sedap hati... but i guess its the pressure of the school work je.... wpun tak delah critical sgt school work ni ...rupa2nya something bad happened back in msia....

"kenapa ek.... tak leh tgk org senang.... suka2 ati je nk tuduh2 org mcm2... with all the explanation given pun dia tak faham2 bahasa lagi... hello mangkuk ayun..this is ppl integrity laaaaa u r talking about.... dh tu sesuka hati jek nk sign bp big boss without e big boss knowing it.... dh kena transfer tu ada maknanya... dok dendiam cuba tgk what have u done... whats e damage... BUDSSSS n BONGSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

I HATE IT VERY MUCH WHEN PPL START TO MESS AROUND WITH US.........

Ya Allah... KAU lindungkanlah kami dari mereka2 ini...lindungkanlah kami dari segala fitnah dan buruk sangka manusia.... KAU peliharalah keselamatan dan kesejahteraan kami... AMEEN...

i miss US

2006-12-05T14:22:00.000Z

in one week time.. i will be flying home.... tak sabarnyaaa nak jumpa ma,ba,cq,an n even kt ... but i know i will miss the US time together .... not him, i still dont have any memory or even a moment of US in malaysia... us here is D n myself.... yups you D.... of course dlm riang ria gumbira spending my time kat MV, KLCC or OU... musti teringatkan kat saat2 indah kita .... eventhough kita skrng berada di benua yg sama tapi.... susah ek nak jumpa..... chatting with u.. seeing u in the webcam made me realized how much i miss u n how much i miss the time together.. the hugs, the comfort, the laughter... I MISS ALL THAT..... hmmmm

torn between two
i need the coffee but my body say no... the rhinitis asked me to take a break... but i cant make it... i have a paper to submit before flying back home but if the condition get worse, probably ill need to apply the extension to submit the paper... no choice maaa.... the headache and the pressure on the T-zone and also the shoulder blade is killing me...

macam2-wise

2006-11-24T10:50:00.000Z

over-sensitive nose..
been to the GP, religiously taking the meds given but hmmm everytime i go out in the cold weather, that every time my nose will got blocked and there will be trace of blood.. and will be a little bit dizzy after that... oh, hidungku silalah bekerjasama ....

work-wise...
two major things to show to supervisor but i dont have the feeling to do it... i guess its because im really looking forward my trip back to Malaysia in <>2o days time... but i will force myself to do all this... hahahahaha... gile excited nak balik.....

personal-wise..
the preparation will be done during my trip back to Malaysia.... hmm but leaving him here.. alamakkkkkkkkk padanlaa rasa tak sedap hati lately... nak tinggalkan dia kat sini.... seminggu tak jumpa pun dah penat... ini sebulan... hmm will see how both of us will cope with this... org lain tinggal berbulan2 pun boleh hidup.. hihihi.. :D.. such a drama queen!!!!

mental&emotion-wise..
oklaaa.... not so bad... got its ups n downs... i guess i hv to blame it on the weather and also the shorter daytime.... pkl 4 pm je dah gulap gulita, hehehhe... so depressing ok!!! further more, 730 baru ada matahari..thats by luck if it is not raining... :D but im kinda like winter as the prayers time is better compared to summer cuma a lil bit terkejar2 for zohor n asr... by 615pm dh complete with isya' :D the temp dh masuk zone single digit so dah mulala pakai baju tebal2... n i look so huge ... hahahha... :D

p/s: for all the comments given.. thank you..i appreciate it very much... :D

no explanation...

2006-11-17T15:34:00.000Z

hari ini... rasa tak sedap hati tapi tak leh nak explain kenapa.... semuanya nampak ok.. tapi kenapa ya... seperti ada sesuatu yg tak kena tapi diri sendiri tak pasti.... hari ini satu hari sekadar mengadap pc tanpa sebarang hasil.. kosong belaka... kian dihambat waktu... ada beberapa perkara perlu diselesaikan sebelum kembali....
semakin ramai yg tahu... semakin cuak rasanya... bukan tidak gembira dgn perkembangan ini, tapi rasa ketidakpastian itu kadangkala menjenguk juga... ramai memberi nasihat agar tidak terlalu memikirkannya... hmm ntahlah... i guess born to be worry-wart kot... iskkk...

ya Allah..permudahkanlah perjalanan ini.. ameen...

serabutssss

2006-11-09T00:10:00.000Z

S
E
R
A
B
U
T
S
S
S
S
S
S

- 1st year review report and viva
- paper to submit
- system to develop
- KB to generate
- rules and facts to consider
- VP to master
- a BIG THING to plan
- A LOT OF THINGS to consider .......

terhidrat lagi laa mcm ni.........................................................
this morning... ada a few of my colleagues dok tegur that i look tired..... hmm its not only about work... im getting more sleepless nites lately... camno tu.....

Eid Mubarak...

2006-10-23T09:56:00.000+01:00

Ramadhan melabuhkan tirainya semalam... rasa sayu kerana Ramadhan kali ini ada beberapa perkara yg gagal saya sempurnakan, ketika berbuka puasa smlm, saya berdoa agar dipanjangkan usia utk memberi saya peluang menyambut Ramadhan akan datang.... tambahan pula keadaan fizikal yg kurang sihat, menambahkan kronik rasa rindu pada keluarga... :( tapi dalam pada itu, saya gagahkan diri membantu adik2 rumah ini apa yang patut, berusaha membuat cookies yang dirancang (ini adalah kuih raya pertama dalam hidup saya yg saya buat segalanya sendiri!!!)... menjelang malam, mmg rasa tak mampu utk buat apa2, lagi2 selepas makan ubat, rasa 'high' smcm, alhamdulillah, ada dia membantu saya, walaupun dia keletihan bekerja seharian, dia datang dan memasak... rasa terharu tak terkira, 3,4 bulan lalu saya terfikir, bagaimana sambutan raya kali ini tanpa keluarga di sisi, tapi siapa sangka... kehadiran Aidilfitri kali ni disambut bersama dia, benar perjalanan kami masih panjang, tapi apa yg saya dan dia ada hari ini membuat saya rasa content dan gembira...
pagi2 raya, alhamdulillah... badan terasa sihat sedikit... syukur padaMU ya Allah, memberikan kesempatan saya utk berhari raya.... solat aidilfitri di sports centre, pelbagai bangsa ada... solat dan khutbahnya ringkas, mungkin kerana hari ini hari bekerja... selesai solat, bersalam2an dan bertukar ucapan... ada beberapa pelajar Malaysia.... ramai yg lengkap berbaju kurung, berbaju melayu dan bersamping songket.. ... seronok tgk adik2 ini, tapi lagi seronok bila mereka menyangka saya pelajar UG.... :D
dan ketika saya menaip entry ini, saya berada di school, rasa sedih dan rindu tidak begitu ketara.... saya ada kelas yg perlu dihadiri sebentar lagi... Aidilfitri kali ini memang berbeza, pengalaman baru bagi saya...daripada persediaan raya hinggalah ke sambutannya... selepas kelas ini, ada beberapa jemputan yg perlu dipenuhi.. ..so the next entry..insya-allah saya akan ceritakan pengalaman beraya di sini pula.....

to all SALAM AIDILFITRI.. MAAF ZAHIR & BATIN..

Menghitung diri....

2006-10-16T09:31:00.000+01:00

diam tak diam... tak sampai 10 hari lagi syawal bakal menjelma... Ramadhan kali ini amat berbeza... cabaran dan dguaan amat hebat... berusaha keras utk istiqamah dlm apa juga yg saya buat tapi kdg kala tergelincir juga.... sayu rasanya.... bila memikirkan Ramadhan sudah smpi ke penghujungnya... bakal beraya tanpa keluarga tersayang, ini sekadar menambahkan kesayuan tetapi pokoknya, Ramadhan kali ni, byk yg disiakan..... hmmmm... kdg kala alpa dgn apa yg ada disekeliling.... Ya Allah, ampunkan dosa2 hambaMu ini, terlalu byk khilaf yg telah dilakukan..terlalu byk :(
Syawal mungkin disambut di kuliah... tapi masih bergantung pada keadaan...... ada beberapa hari lagi utk saya berusaha menyelesaikan apa yg patut saya selesaikan... dan masih ada perkara yg perlu saya pertahankan.... perjalanan saya di sini sudah menjangkau usia 7 bulan, bagi sesetengah org, ia masih baru lagi tapi bagi saya.... terasa begitu pantas masa berlalu, terlalu byk perkara yg berlaku..... terlalu banyak sebenarnya... kdg kala diri ini tidak percaya dgn apa yg berlaku... cuma mampu berdoa agar ditunjukkan jalan yg terbaik kepada diri ini....
Kerisauan sentiasa melanda ... kala ini soalan2 mampukah aku sering ditanya pada diri sendiri... cabaran ini hebat, ada pendirian yg harus dipertahankan... tapi kdg kala terasa seperti diri ini terlalu cepat mengalah.... sudah mula hilang semangatkah.... di mana semangat juang seorang srikandi .... kini bila duduk sendirian, menghitung diri sendiri... terasa terlalu kerdil, sama ada duniawi mahupuh ukhrawi.....

Marhaban Ya Ramadhan Al-Mubarak

2006-09-24T12:54:00.000+01:00

Alhamdulillah...bertemu lagi dgn Ramadhan... kali ini suasanya berbeza sekali.... ya, inilah pertama kali saya berpuasa jauh dari tanah air sendiri... malam ramadhan itu saje terasa sayu sedikit... terbayang2 kemeriahan Ramadhan di rumah sendiri... sejak bekerja, sayalah yg bertugas utk ke Pasar Ramadhan membeli apa2 yang patut, kdg2 pusing dua tiga kali end up tak beli apa2.... sibuk2 di dapur, berjemaah beramai2 dan mcm2 lagi tapi hari ini...Ramadhan di sambut bersama teman serumah... Alhamdulillah...pokok pangkalnya saya masih diberikan kesempatan menjalani ibadah ini... semoga diberikan kesihatan dan kesejahteraan utk meneruskan ibadah ini dan ibadah2 yang lain...
Berpuasa di tempat org..cabarannya berbeza... pengalaman pertama ini pasti akan saya ingat sampai bila2... :) di sini, nak makan apa pun kena buat sendiri, so berbukala dgn apa yg termampu disediakan, dan Alhamdulillah juga, Ramadhan bermula pada hujung minggu.. dapatlaa saya membuat sedikit sebanyak adjustment.... esok sudah kembali ke school, sedikit perubahan perlu di lakukan agar sempat pulang ke rumah pada masanya....
apa2 pun... Semoga Ramadhan ini dapat diharungi dgn penuh barakah dari MU ....

SELAMAT BERPUASA KEPADA SEMUA.....

sudah sampai masanya

2006-09-21T15:04:00.000+01:00

hujung minggu hari tu... saya menjelajah harddisk yg saya usung dari malaysia... dlm kelam kelibut mau ke sini, saya transfer SEMUA file dlm pc dan notebook lama ke hardisk tanpa saya tapis dahulu.... hasilnya.. macam2 ada....
dgn apa yg saya ada sekarang, saya sudah mula membuang sedikit demi sedikit apa yg tak patut saya simpan terutamanya yg dlm hardisk tu ... dan juga segala archive email2 dan YM... byk perkara yg saya pelajari.... agaknya mmg saya jenis yg perlu belajar itu semua thru the hardway.... tapi saya tidak menyesal, apa yg berlaku menyedarkan saya bahawa betapa tinggi rendahnya langit, betapa dunia ini ada mcm2 perkara, bahawa saya juga tidak terlepas dari membuat kesilapan dalam perkara2 seperti ini, mmg malu utk bercerita tapi semua sudah terjadi.. mana bisa saya hilangkan jejak itu... tapi ia adalah satu pengajaran, saya berkongsi dgn adik2 , teman dan juga di sini, berharap agar mereka tidak mengulangi kesilapan2 saya itu.... pada awalnya mmg terasa syg utk dibuang segala koleksi2 itu tapi bila fikir2 kembali...smpi bila saya nak simpan ini semua... biarlah ia berlalu....
Alhamdulillah...episod sedih itu telah berlalu.... hati ini tenang dan apa yg saya ada sekarang membuat saya rasa content wpun adakalanya saya rasa tidak yakin..... walaupun persetujuan itu sudah diterima.... tapi rasa itu masih ada... mungkin kerana kisah2 lalu yg pernah saya tempuhi... selagi boleh sudah semestinya saya akan pastikan segala2 yg penting itu crystal clear... semoga ianya dipermudahkan...ameen

-di sini surga kita - Heart -

life as it is

2006-09-14T20:07:00.000+01:00

byk betul perkara yg perlu dianalisis dan dikaji pada ketika ini, research-wise and life-wise....
the meeting last week shows some light in my research.... i need to revamp the approach and to focus on developing the main system and data input will be done manually... mr sv will be out of town for a week and demands lot of outputs by end of next week... adehhh.. but overall im pretty happy with the progress and to get it done is another thing... i have to ensure the plan look realistic and presentable.... hopefully everything will be ok...
a big decision is made and i hv to work for it to make it happened... n this time i hope is the one ive been waiting for... excited, nervous, happy, afraid, confuse... are all in one... i pray to Allah to show us the right way ... ameen...

macam-macam ada

2006-09-04T10:07:00.000+01:00

-report correction-revising plan-makan2-jalan2-a proposal- an engagement-an interview- an abstract- a paper- new approach- etc..etc..etc..

in the past 2 weeks.. lot of things happened to me and ppl who are close to me... doa saya... semoga apa yg terbaik utk saya dan mereka, dipermudahkan jalannya... ameen...

seronok!!

2006-08-25T11:52:00.000+01:00

gourock

another shot (peaceful sehhh)

im back... actually dah 4 days... hehehe.. but been busy, remember the kerja2 menggali yg perlu dibuat.. yaa.. thats the thing im into right now... lupakan sebentar kerja2 programming tu... probably theres a change of plan kot... will see what mr sv will comment on the report.. btw, theres evaluation forms for him to fill.. adehh.. hopefully it will be good.. seriau sehhh.....

the trip was superb!!!!! tak byk berjalan2 pun... went to gourock and the rest is lepak2 kat bandar glasgow... even nak memanjangkan trip ke edinburgh to meet AM pun tak sempat as i byk spent masa with my friend... mmg the main purpose of this trip is to meet her pun.. dia tgh sarat, due lagi 2 weeks... but still strong lagi.. siap turun naik bukit p school walaupun pada kelajuan yang minimum... 4 nights kat sana, mmg most of the time berborak ngan dia pun... her hubby mmg sporting ahh... when we went out pusing2 bandar glasgow, dia siap main masak2 lagi preparing lunch n dinner for us... hehehe... the security measures mmg agak ketat, and my luggage kena check dua kali, siap kena buka (diorg suspicious kot... hehe), but the handluggage tak de masalah at all..... :D..alhamdulillah..
gourock is best!! tepi laut and they have this family day actually, me tukang sibuk je... sambil2 tu ambil gambar n also jadi baby-sitter.. the best part was main bola with kanak2 kat situ... all out sehh... :D yg lawaknya.. theres another phd stud but a guy, dia plak sibuk layan kanak2 perempuan kat situ while im the one layan kanak2 lelaki main bola.. terbalik sungguh... hehehe...
they prepared nasi lemak, nasi dagang, nasi ayam, laksa, spagetti, karipap, puding jagung, choc cake, pastries, ayam n ikan bakar... waduh2.. lari diet sungguh... hehehe.. i hd so much fun makan2 dgn muka tak malunya... so sebagai membalas jasa mereka.. i took over to baby-sit kanak2 itu.. suapay ibu2 dapat makan dgn amannya... hehehe.. :D overall my trip to glasgow mmg best... i even managed to finish reading 2 story books.. hehee.. n yups.. of course sudah ada plan akan ke sana lagi... will wait till the baby dah besar skit.. hehehe...

but now... here i am back to my place.. adehhh... tension gak bila home alone ni ya... 3 weeks to go before rumah ni meriah balik.. hmmmm

scotland.. here i come..

2006-08-17T19:59:00.000+01:00

report.. finally, ive submitted the report... tak tahulah hasilnya bagaimana... just wait n see je lah for mr sv to read and give comments... hmmm... dia siap bagi new tasks lagi... as usual... try to dig more on the research direction and research gap clearly... adehhhh..... tak abis penant tulis report, udah disuruh membuat kerja2 menggali plak.... hmmm... there goes my plan for the programming thing... hmmmm.. BUT...
selesai je submit the report, my eyelids membengkak... so the plan to membuat kerja2 menggali and also the programming thing terbengkalaii juga akhirnya.... off i went to the gp, hmm an antibiotic n kena rest... hmmmm... BUT..
the plan to scotland is on... hehehehe.... the security measures dah ok skit n all my deary gadgets boleh ikut sama in my handluggage... so, tomorrow i will be on bmibaby to glasgow.... :D

p/s: the thing that happened to me last saturday .. hmmmm... rasa takut tu ada lagi... cuma i have to be extra careful je lah... those yobs tu mmg gitu perangai nya... i was at the wrong place at the wrong time ..... hopefully selamatlaa hendaknya as i will be home alone for a month plak tu..
to all.. tq for the wishes... thank you..thank you...thank you... :)

black saturday

2006-08-12T22:21:00.000+01:00

it was a windy saturday, n was my first time to the office on the weekend, i need to print the report draft...
as i walked beside the main road opposite the hospital, i heard a loud voice from behind, being me, i dont really care about it so i just walk and suddenly....
a teenage boy on a bike passed by me really fast, then came his friend on another bike and he kicked me right at my left leg... luckily i was standing really near the gate and his kicked not so hard....
they just left laughing.... i was in shocked..really in shocked.... mulut tak henti2 beristighfar... i just walk as fast as i could to my office..... takut, sedih, geram...semua bercampur baur.... i dont know how to react but whatever happened terrified me..

when i told to my housemate what happened, she said, almost everyone experienced this here, at least once.... and with all this bombing threat.. probably thats the reason i got e kick...

hmm n now... it left me terrified.... takut sehhhh.. e left leg is ok... just a mild n bluish bruised... but... hmmm

chaotic world

2006-08-10T21:32:00.000+01:00

hmmmm... with all that happened in heathrow, should i proceed with my plan to fly to glasgow end of next week...ive planned this trip few months before as a cuti2 after i submit my report this 15/8 (ok ok..i know the report tak siap lagi... hv to work on this ... ok ok)... but with all this security measure taken at the airport, tak leh bawa itu, tak leh bawa ini, kena melenggang kangkung je... tapi cam ne with all my dearie gadgets tu... takkan nk letak dlm check-in luggage... hmmmm setakat boleh bawa wallet n passport je as hand luggage.. tu pun kena letak dlm clear plastic beg...
cam ne ek... ke postponed dulu e trip.... tapi i really want to go to scotland before cuaca sejuk mula bertandang tapi on the same time... tak mau plak go thru all the hassle kat airport... dah le im a lil bit phobia with airport n flying ni..... hmmmmm... ok ok..back to my report writing dulu... isnin karang baru buat decision...

macam macam

2006-08-09T09:44:00.000+01:00

he said dont ever try to think about anything he said and he did... just ignore it...

tapi bagaimana... bagaimana utk tidak memikirkan apa yg dikatakan atau apa saja yg dibuat...

saya pun ada hati dan perasaan....
dan otak saya mmg suka berfikir....

cam ne tu...

ikut hati dan pendek akal... mmg boleh tapi itu saya yg dahulu....

hmmmmm.....

kehadapan mr P/T dan ms C... silalah bekerjasama sesama sendiri... saya dh kering idea utk memastikan ia menjadi... adehhhhhhhh... saya tahu skill coding saya belum mencapai tahap dewa dewi tapi tolonglaahh saya...

mr P/T dan ms C adalah dua bahasa programming yg cuba saya satukan...

Rindu

2006-07-28T09:23:00.000+01:00

rindu ini bertandang lagi
singkat akal
ada yg terbang £800
utk pulang ke tanahair
tapi..
mana mungkin....
ada yg kena kerat 10 karang....
kerja yg satu ni pun tak siap2 lagi...
tapi..
rindulahhh....
begini rupanya rasa rindu ya...
pedih...
sedih..
sakit...
tiap2 hari gambar itu pasti ditatap..
dah jadi wallpaper pc mahupun hp..
walaupun..
hampir setiap hari bertukar berita...
namun...
aku rindu akan hilai tawa adik2 aku...
aku rindu akan suara, pelukan dan belaian ibuku..
aku rindu akan lawak jenaka ayahku..
aku rindu utk menyakat bibik...
aku rindu utk bercerita tentang apa saje dgn D n WF....
aku rindu akan kurtbarb dan suku sakatnya..
aku rindu pada KC dan si teleng...
aku rindu akan kicauan burung ditepi tingkap bilikku...
aku rindu dihambat tugas2 melayan kerenah pelajar...
aku rindu berbaju kurung pada hari jumaat....
terselit juga rasa rindu pada jazzy dan gajah....

arrghhh.... rindunya pada semua itu....

BENGANG!!!

2006-07-21T10:04:00.000+01:00

im sort of bengang with this guy, we are in the same research team, since he is not from an academia background, dia kurang appreciate kepentingan a few things such as Literature Survey, why it is important to write papers, progress report, trying few methods n so on. I am not saying I am good at this but with my seciput experience i kinda new a little bit tricks on how to play in this field. Anyhow, he is brilliant, he can master the Matlab in one week while i will take ages to know HOW to use it, not even master it, and he likes to help others on doing the lab work. That is his advantage which i see will help him A LOT to go through this PhD.

With a pushy and very demanding SV, both of us mmg easily get tensed, he likes to share all this with me, at first, it is ok, i just listen to his yick yacking, sometimes i dont agree with his oppinion n sometimes i have to agree tapi being me i malas nak berbalahh, let him spilt out his frustration and anger but lately, it started to affect me. Rasa geram pun ada, lagi2 dia suka sgt menc*rut kalau bercerita..... and i start to have doubt to the SV, which is not a right thing to have. So i kinda started to not really listen to him and try to b as natural as possible. Since dia amat risaukan his 1st year report, i gave him the guidelines provided by the school to him, which was given to me by another friend. I found it is quite helpful but what he said to me really pissed me off...

me: M, do u already have this guidelines? (i show him the guidelines)
he looks at the guidelines and said No
me: u can have it
M: u know what, this piece of SH*T doesnt help, it changes all the time...

masa ni mmg alamakkkkkkk my blood go upstairslaaa... i just walk away from him and say but still u can use it as guidelines.... n terus sambung buat keje..

i dont really care dia say thank u ke tak... but it is a guidelines ... dah namanya guidelines, mmglaa takkan tunjuk step by step cam ne nak buat report tu but at least adalah things to hold to... penatlaaaaa mcm ni...... kalau semua mende he sees negative.. he is spreading the negative vibes to others... thats itlaaaa man.. i am sooo benganglaaaaa mcm ni!!!!!!!!

Hati dan Jantung

2006-07-17T22:51:00.000+01:00

Saya tahu dan amat sedar, perbuatan banding membanding ini satu aktiviti yg amat tidak sihat pada situasi sekarang tetapi saya tidak dapat menahan diri saya dari membuat aktiviti ini. Aktiviti ini memberikan ketidakadilan kepada dia tetapi bagaimana saya mahu mengelakkan perkara ini dari terjadi. Buntu!!! Ikut hati, saya akan buat seperti yg saya lakukan satu ketika dahulu tapi ini tidak memberikan apa2 makna, sudahnya saya juga yang bertambah buntu.
Tambahan pula, tekanan dari aktiviti utama saya di sini (belajar) semakin terasa, hasilnya, semua orang di Malaysia sudah mula bertanya kenapa pipi saya sudah susut.
Ya saya akui, SAYA SEDANG DAN MASIH LAGI MAKAN HATI BERULAM JANTUNG dengan semua yang terjadi sejak saya menjejak kaki di sini. Bukan kerana kisah itu saja tetapi aktviti utama saya kini sudah mula memberikan kesan hebat pada diri saya.

The return of the updates!!

2006-07-13T10:44:00.000+01:00

workwise
been busy lately, cracking my head with some coding between VC++ and Pro Toolkit, nak setup link je ambil masa berhari2, iskkk berkaratnya skill yg satu ni... in one month time i have to submit a report to Mr SV, this time its a big one, 6 mth assessment, padahal baru je 5 bulan time tu.... apa juga yg bakal digorengkan dalam report tu ek... ni baru siapkan the report key research ideas, itu pun amik masa berhari2... adehh... i can see more sleepless nightsss...

2 months already..
kejap je ek...dh 2 months... hmm things are going ok la... bak kata D, batu pun boleh lekuk kalau tiap2 hari air menitik.. hmm will see how fast this batu will melekuk.. dlm masa dua bulan ni, inilah yg berlaku
- endless txt/phone calls (sometime got mushy2 one... hehehe)
- red roses and card... (err, eventhough ada cerita kelakar di sini)
- sanggup tu to travel all e way to my house di waktu malam... hmmmmm
- has been my cheerleader so far... well, sedikit sebyk, ia membantu...
- prepared a dish for me.. (isk...segan sehh)..
will see what else will happened ya... :D

on D
- im happy laa... really2 happy when u told me abt e E things... insya-allah things will be just fine for both of u.. tell ur abe..not to worry...
- i cant wait for us to celebrate Eid together..
- to all e comments, thanks a lot... D is my BFF

Penaakulan Mantik
I found this in someone's blog i guess, its about world cup...
Brazil kalah ngan France
Togo kalah ngan France
Adakah ini bermakna Togo sama taraf ngan Brazil... hmmmmm isk isk isk ;)

WC2006
when Cannavarro lift the thropy, i was so sad actually.... sbbnya WC dah abis... nothing to look forward at, nothing to watch..... sedihhhnya..sob sob sob... another 4 years plak ek... iskkk.. this is e most memorable WC so far in my life... sbb i managed to watch it in 2 different countries n dun have to stay up pun... hehehehe...

My dearest D

2006-07-03T11:25:00.000+01:00

Dear D...

when i logged in to the YM and saw the status, i knew theres something wrong ... i was sad to hear that... feeling the anger and the frustration in you.... and darling D, i wish i were there beside you, i know theres nothing much i can do but i feel that i hv to be by your side at this moment of time.... eventhough we are far apart, but i want u to know, that i am always here for u....
i know u can face this .... be strong and pray to the Almighty, if it is meant to be yours, insya-allah things will sail smoothly for both of u....

whatever will happened, my prayers will always be with you..for your happiness and all the best things in the world...

big bear hugs from me,
isas

ada sisa2 berkabung rupanya pada diri ini apabila melihat team england meninggalkan Baden-baden dan terbang kembali ke tanah airnya, im not that really sad tapi more to frustrated sbb mmg kalau its penalty, i can say confirm england tak pergi ke mana punya.. badi penalty yg amat hebat to them... what touched me was as i tgk my hero rio ferdinand menangis teresak2 .. lagi2 kalah in such ways... if they lost in a full game... tak laa ralat sgt... but this is football kan... games full of action and emotion as i shall put it here....

therapy

2006-06-27T23:25:00.000+01:00

therapy I
whenever i feel down, window shopping or strolling at the mall, never failed to at least ease a lil bit of my tensed, and i like to do it alone especially here... i dont really fancy buying anything but if i have extra cash, i will spend it for books... back in malaysia, whenever i got my pay, MPH n kinokunoya will be my fav place to spend my cash.. but here it is much2 better, i can get at least 10 good RD condensed books for 3pounds in carboot, i love it very2 much... i can spend up to 10 pounds and can have a big box of chic lit books and RD books... but seriously, strolling at the mall alone give me kinda of calmness actually...

therapy II
playing with my two adorable nephews.... main2, wrestling, layan segala kerenah mereka, bring them to park, treat them icecream, nyanyi kuat2, dgr muzik sambil joget2, main kejar2, gelak2 and finally renung ke dalam mata mereka... mmg menenangkan... n also tgk muka mereka masa tgh tidur... hmmmm sejuk je rasa... hilang semua serabut2.. seakan2 memberi semangat dan ketenangan dalam hidup ini...

therapy III
drink a cup of macchiato at SB/SF/CB sambil people watching.... u will realize how lucky u are.. masa tu baru terasa, masalah yg dihadapi ini kecil je berbanding masalah org lain... so tak perlu nak mengeluh berpanjangan....

therapy IV
kaau 12-15 tahun lalu, saya menganggap air mata yg mengalir adalah a sign of weakness.. tapi persepsi itu berubah kini, ia adalah salah satu cara untuk melegakan apa saja yg tersirat dan tersimpul yg membebankan.... kini, saya percaya pada kekuatan air mata utk melegakan himpitan segala masalah yg membuku di dada...

therapy V
laut, pantai dan hujan lebat.... antara unsur2 yg boleh menenangkan saya.... saya masih ingat, 5 tahun lalu, saya berdiri di dalam hujan lebat ketika perjalanan AMT itu memeritkan... tapi selepas itu saya tenang..... (main hujan ni best sebenarnya!!!), dan berada di tepi pantai menikmati angin laut dan mendengar bunyi ombak... yaa itu juga menenangkan.. kalau dapat mandi laut lagi best.... apa2 yg berunsur air mmg ada potensi utk menenangkan saya... hmm mungkin saya ni ada unsur2 api kot!!

therapy VI
ini adalah yg terbaik.... sujud kepada Ilahi dan mengadu kepadaNYA..... ketenangan itu akan datang dan kewarasan membuat pertimbangan jelas kelihatan..

moga tenang dan waras itu milik saya buat waktu ini kerana saya benar2 memerlukannya sekarang..... ameen

tak de mood

2006-06-26T10:15:00.000+01:00

- physicall drained
- mentally tiread
- emotionally disturbed

why??? i dont know...
- i cant do my LS
- the AFR is stucked
- my fingers hurt
- this penin2 keep coming
- i feel down
- what?????? holland lost in that gile match with 16 yellow cards n 4 red cards???
- im tired
- boleh tak jgn byk tanya ngan saya.... saya rimas!!!!!!!
- boleh tak pergi jauh2 dari saya.... kenapa awk suka kacau saya?????

I dont know

2006-06-22T12:04:00.000+01:00

ive tried my best but i failed...
my absence made someone really worried....
how far this will go i dont know..
the future is not for me to predict...
i just..
follow where the winds blow....

Hari Ini

2006-06-16T04:56:00.000+01:00

study:
- not much progress
- technical problem with pro eng
- stucked with e progmmng thing
- managed to develop 2 LS
- KBS selection is on hold, need more info
- bakal ditembak hari ini .... iskkkk jgnla conflict itu berjangkit plakkk

life:
- bola, football, soccer
- worldcup2006
- live at 2 , 5 and 8 pm
- electronic chart updates
- ggggggggggoooooooooooaaaaaaaaaaaaaaalllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll
- bersorak n mexican wave
- mengomen and shouting at the player and also e ref
- bertukar jersi saban hari
- oranjes rulessss!!!!
- lost my 1st betting!!! (hehehe sape soh bet on T&T.......)
- a few takeaways for dinner (tak sempat nk masak sehh)

weather:
- kejap panas membahang..kejap sejuk membeku... apa2pun i like it... no more jackets... boleh bergaya with e new jerseyss every day
- padanlaa mamat dan minah salleh pelik tgk saya berpayung di tengah panas..rupanya kat sini payung hanya utk musim hujan je... (me: alaaa tak kisahlaaa... dh panas cam tu... buka mata pun payah.... krg hitammm sape susah??)

blog:
- ampun blogku... udah lama tidak update yaa... hehehe.. busy sehhhh..... dengan perkara2 di bawah topik life...

last but not least..

dear baba (bapa, kawan, idola, pembimbing, imam, pemimpin, pelawak, pententeram jiwa, sumber inspirasi dan SEGALANYA)
happy father's day...

kenapa?

2006-06-06T12:15:00.000+01:00

dialog di hari ahad:

me: Can I ask u something?

him: Yes dear…apa dia…

me: Kenapa awk baik sgt dgn saya… I got scared sometime…

him: Sorry dear if u got scared…I didn’t mean it at all.. and Please don’t bother about me…what I want u to do is concentrate on ur study and finish it on time… bila *** ada masa, saya akan temankan awk… make u happy, ketawa n senyum selalu, I want u to do ur phd dengan tenang dan gembira… *** tak nak awk stress2 selalu …

me: Kenapa?

him: I don’t have answer for that… I just feel I want to do it.. don’t ask me for answer

me: Hmm…. Tapi…

him: All I can say is u hv that special something that makes others glad 2b around some1 with so much charm and personality… I just like to see ur smiles and laughs…and it does made me feel happy

me: Thank you (sambil tersengih cam kerang busuk......)

summer is here

2006-06-05T08:57:00.000+01:00

e weekend was great...superb actually... e sun shines brightly... panas membahang sehhh.... alhamdulillah... tersenyum simpul kami berjalan kaki dgn riang rianya walaupun city council bus on strike hari tu... setelah separuh hari berjalan... kami pun pulang... smpi je umah, match ENG vs JAM.... 1st half mmg entertaining.. kalau tak, takkan bersorak bagai nak rak.... wpun bertiga, tapi kira2nya bolehlaa nk buat mexican wave n also tiru crouch menari2 ala2 robot tu... heehehe... habis 1st half, ada org dtg jemput for BBQ, e best part is.. meka2 ni tak perasan yg match tu siang.... meloponglaa si tukang jemput tuh... off we went to BBQ dgn hati yg berat... match tak abis lagi maaa...
e BBQ was ok laaa..... tak kenal ramai sgt org as most of them are UG... but e best part is semua org ingat saya pun budak UG gak... hehee... layan jelah... :D
balik dari BBQ...we decided to walk through Wollaton Park.... maka my LX-1 pun menjalankan tugasannya... lagi2 bila we discover that rusa2 sekali yg menetap di sini sedang bersantai di atas padang golf... seronok je meka2 tu.. iskk.. kalau tersesat bola golf sebiji dua..mau benjol sekor2... :D...penat amik gambar pokok, awan, langit, rusa, bangku, pagar... turn kami pula berposing... apa lagi.... charlies angle wannabe la jawabnya!!!
overall... e weekend was perfect..... letih but seronok... on sunday agak seronok juga but biarlah rahsia ;)

charlies angel

World Cup Fever!!!

2006-05-31T14:11:00.000+01:00

Tidur Bola… Makan Bola… Mandi Bola… Minum Bola... Main Bola... n tidak dilupakan Study also Bola..... :D

Ikut perkiraan waktu… 9 days to go for the World Cup 2006, hmm kalau perancangan dulu menjadi mungkin saya sudah berada di sana pada waktu ini tapi tak pe.. berada di sini pun sudah cukup baik, tidak perlu bersengkang mata setiap malam utk memberi sokongan dan bersorak bagi setiap perlawanan pilihan…
Jadual waktu match kali ni telah saya print out, siap tanda lagi which match to watch… hmmm ada yg petang, nmpk gayanya kena minta ehsan sv utk membenarkan saya buat kerja dari umah… (sah2 tak buat kerja… tapi bersorak bagai nak rak).. geng menonton bola pun dah ada… dia yg offer diri, saya ok je… hehehe… jgn dia mati katak terkejut tgk saya bersorak udah le… n i will not provide any food ya... drink is on me... hehehe....

On e group stage my eyes will be on this game

9/6 Germany vs Costa Rica (opening maa, wajib tgk)
10/6 england vs equador
11/6 serbia vs Netherlands
12/6 Italy vs Ghana
13/6 brazil vs croatia
13/6 france vs switzerland
14/6 spain vs ukraine
15/6 england vs Trinidad
16/6 netherlands vs Ivory cost
17/6 italy vs usa
18/6 France vs South Korea
18/6 brazil vs Australia
20/6 Sweden vs England
21/6 Netherlands vs Argentina
22/6 Japan vs Brazil
22/6 Czech Rep vs Italy
23/6 Saudi Arabia vs Spain

The other games of course I wanna see osso… if possible I want to watch all… hehehe.. which team i support hmmm non particularlay but i wanna see samba by Ronaldinho, menjadi lagi tak this time ;)

p/s: it was a so n so friendly match last night between ENG n HUN, but when accompanied by a good chat via YM antara 2 benua while watching the same match… make it more interesting…
me: penat bersorak sambil melayan YM…nasib tak juling mata!!!

hitz song of the month: MAS QUE NADA!!!

enjoying my life

2006-05-26T23:13:00.000+01:00

in my previous entry, i wrote that im enjoying every second of my life here...
yaa.... i want to enjoy every second of my life here.. be it a not-so-good thing or an excellent thing, i just want to enjoy it...
i dont want to sulk and keep complaining how life is dull here without the love ones that i miss bagai nak rak and also e stupid mistakes that ive done... what happened in e past, it happened and i couldnt do anything to change it... but what ever happened today and future, its up to me nak jadikan dia a happy one or 3 years kat sini will be a dull one...
lagipun bukan semua org diberi this chance... so kenapa perlu saya bazirkan peluang ini.... saya mahu jadikan 3 tahun ini sebagai waktu utk saya revamp hidup saya... beri peluang pada diri saya menikmati hidup di perantauan, di samping menimba sebanyak mana ilmu dan pengalaman yg bakal menjadi panduan dan bekalan utk saya dan mereka yg lain...
i know... probably dlm masa seminggu dua lagi, motivasi saya akan menurun atau ada perkara yg akan mengganggu emosi saya akan berlaku tapi whatever happened...saya tak mau sia2kan waktu saya di sini... pasti ada hari2 yg grafnya merudum ke bawah tapi saya yakin sudah pasti akan ada hari2 yg grafnya ke atas pula...
if i can be happy in msia eventhough ditekan dari atas dan bawah, ditembak dari depan dan belakang, diserang dari kiri dan kanan...kenapa tidak di sini...
jika dulu saya berjaya melepasi halangan berada di bawah seliaan sv yg maha perfectionist ketika industrial training..kenapa tidak di sini
jika dulu saya berjaya melepasi program AMT saya dgn flyin colors, sedangkan saya tidak mempunyai sebarang latarbelakang tentang itu semua.... kenapa tidak di sini
jika dulu saya berjaya melepasi tekanan dari org2 atas kerana ketidakpuasan hati saya tentang perjalanan akademik di tpt saya.... kenapa tidak di sini...
jika dulu...walau apa pun yg berlaku, saya tetap boleh bergelak ketawa dan menggembirakan hati sendiri.... kenapa tidak di sini..
jika dulu.... saya masih boleh bertahan dgn apa yg terjadi dgn my previous relationship... kenapa tidak kali ini...

maka bagi saya...pokok pangkalnya ada pada saya... i just want to be happy, enjoying my life and on the same time work hard to get whatever im doing now done successfully

movie & weather

2006-05-25T13:13:00.000+01:00

da vinci code

berabad menunggu cite ni masuk wayang (hehehe exagerate skit) .. so i went to watch it last nite.... i like it .. hehehe.. some ppl found it is boring but for me.. hehehe.. mata terpaku kat screen!!! i read the book last year and quite addicted to dan brown's books... but my advice is janganla baca the book seminggu sebelum nak tgk the movie, mmg agak mengecewakan.. sbb biasalah in the book ada semua details, dlm movie takkan dia nak letak semua sekali, mau sampai esok tak abis cite tu.. hehee..anyway... sape2 yg suka dan brown's book esp da vinci code or yg suka historical places, this is the kind of movie.. or sape2 yg suka sama itu tom hanks pun bolehlaaa tgk cite ni... masih cute walaupun sudah nmpk ketuaannya :D the heroin Audrey Tautou tu not bad juga... dia ada nice pair of eyes laaa :D

weather

2,3 minggu ni asik hujan... n the weather ni unpredictable... 10 saat hujan karang sekelip mata, matahari terik memancar.... kdg2 tersilap perhitungan bila tang berpakaian, selalu terjadi ialah tak pakai baju yg cukup tebal, end up menggigil laaa ... june is approaching but e weather still sejuk2 lagi... hmmm now ni i guess i got summer depression .. heheheh selalunya org dpt winter depression but not me, i guess i got ala2 summber depression sbb penat nak susun waktu nak tido supaya tak terlepas isya' atau subuh... dah le sejukk pagi2 tu.. lagilaa liat nk keluar dari duvet tapi... ini semua pengalaman yg takkan saya lupakan... ada thrill dan keseronokannya bila difikirkan balik.... me..im enjoying every second of my life here!!!!

Stress Level & Party

2006-05-24T10:45:00.000+01:00

i was downd with heartburn last week... its like a tornado in my stomach... at one time i couldnt sit straight... at that time, e only meds that i hd is the charcoal tablet and a bottle of diet coke, without second thot, i just gulped the coke with the charcoal tablet, and it turned out fine actually, after 5 mins, everything was back to normal but not for long... the heartburn was there for 2-3 days... i opt to do my work from home which i find quite ok because i managed to settle 2 functions of the coding... :D not bad ahh....
i met the sv last monday... he knew i was not so well last week, so he told me to reduce the chilli intake and also the stress level... hayyaa... u mr sv r totally correct, i admit i take tooo many chilli .... hehehe..tak pedas mana kick kan... sekali masak, berbatang2 cili padi menjadi mangsa.. :D but the stress level... hmm hmmm..mr sv, can i take 2,3 day leaves... hehehe.. my stress level is shooting up to the sky laaa nowadays, i guess this contributes to the heartburn and also ive been quite unproductive laa... hmmm... im planning a trip actually, hopefully it will be materialize... hopefully...
last nite... the office organized a party cum dinner... it started around 4pm with some games such as darts, stack, cards, chess and bingo... i tried darts (lousy me), cards (i know how to play 21), stack (with my butterfingers i still can take out successfully some wooden blocks from the stack) and bingo..... then we went for dinner at an indian restaurant nearby.... i enjoyed it very much, the food was ok, i get to know few new faces, gelak2, ketawa2, release my tensed skit... the best thing is we share information on each other cultures... they are really impressed to see me eating the rice with hands.... and errr berpeluh jugalaa nak menerangkan kenapa muslim hv to wear scarf.... but it is a good experience for me... kalau this type of party or get togehter... of course i wanna join again.... e next plan is BBQ!!!!

a lil update
in the email from my sis, she said that "sian mama, she said to me that she doesnt hv confident lagi nk drive jauh2,so now i try to find what EQ gym can offer her" ...
this is the price i hv to pay when i leave the country, i used to be the driver, chauffeur and segala yg seumpama dgnnya... when i read this, rasa sedih dan sayu plak... (sigh)
dear mama, im sorry for not being there for u, to b ur driver, chauffeur atau apa saje.. doakan that i can finish whatever im doing now on time and dipermudahkan urusannya... ill be back to be your driver, chauffeur or watever... i luv u and miss u soooooooooooooo much!!

kisah dia lagi

2006-05-20T20:45:00.000+01:00

i still have tonnes of papers to read
i still have not mastered the Pro Eng thingy
i still in the first stage of VB.NET coding
the database is still tunggang langgang
no progress at all in my progress report preparation
my LS compilation is not really good and still need to be organized properly
i still have not clarified the AFR procedure yet
the KBS methodology still samar2 lagi
the inference engines belum confirm lagi
MicroE and its features... hmmm yang ni pun belum ada planning lagi

kalau tgk list di atas, wahhh berjela2 lagi perkara yg perlu disiapkan dan diberi perhatian but i chose to spend the whole weekend with the lil man sbb he said he missed me...
his mom called me last sunday, terdengar dia menangis dgn kuatnya asking me why i didnt go to his house .... oppsss.... tak terkeluar suara nak pujuk dia bila dgr dia menangis mcm tu, sebak pun ada, rasa bersalah pun ada... n it took him one hour baru dia calm down, itu pun his mom pujuk2 dia yg i will visit him this weekend... n after that, sepanjang minggu lepas, 2-3 kali he asked his mom to call me (which is sangat jarang berlaku)... so tak pelah, letak dulu keja2 kat atas di tepi, maka saya berada di sini for 2 nights, itupun dia marah bila dpt tahu saya kena balik ke tpt saya on sunday evening....
since friday evening (yesterday).. mmg mcm belangkas dgn saya... i try my best to entertain him as much as i can, i took him to the city, strolling at the mall, enjoying hot choc n scones, naik turun bas, layan dia bercerita, suapkan dia makan even tidur pun nak dengan saya... wpun a few time naik juga suara ini memarahi kenakalan dan kedegilan dia... tapi bila saya pandang wajahnya yg tgh tidur itu... mmg terasa tenang disebalik wajah nakal itu.. nnti bila dia pulang ke msia this august for more thn 3 mths... tinggallah saya sorg2 pula kat sini!! pasti kangen banget sama dia!!

unconditional love

2006-05-19T09:49:00.000+01:00

he was born 4 years ago on 1st April, he is my first nephew.. kelahiran dia mmg ditunggu2, cucu sulung, lelaki plak tu, lagi2 in e all-girls family.. dia mmg ditatang bagai minyak yg penuh.. ohh sgt2 penuh actually... :D kira2nya mcm everything i do, i do it for you la...
since im e only one yg berjadual kerja yg agak flexi, byk masa dihabiskan bersama dia, dlm melihat dia membesar hingga kini, i hv my own portion di dalam itu... cuti2 saya dikorbankan utk menjaga dia, menyesal?? oh tidakk... setiap saat bersama dia mmg menyeronokkan, sayalah yg bertanggungjawab mengajarnya lagu2 Linkin Park, Sheila on 7, peterpan ... at the age of 11 or 12 mths, dia dah boleh headbangin bila dgr lagu Linkin Park ... kdgkala ke pejabat pun saya angkut dia, hampir semua aktiviti saya pasti melibatkan dia, menonton bola, bermain bola, tehtarik session di kedai mamak, lepak2 di coffee shop, shopping, berjoget2 bila dgr lagu menuju puncak, bergaduh, wrestling dn mcm2 lagi... pendek kata, sepanjang dia di sisi saya, hidup ini rasa penuh warna warni, setiap kali bertugas di luar kawasan, pasti teringat2kan dia... setiap kali rakan2 sekerja bercerita mengenai anak masing2, saya ada dia utk dijadikan bahan cerita...
dengan dia saya explore mcm2 perkara baru, never underestimate budak2 kecil ini, dari dia saya belajar erti sebenar unconditional love (kasih sayang yang tidak berbelah bagi), erti sabar, erti tanggungjawab dan setiap kali memandang mata jernihnya ketika berhadapan hari2 yg mencabar, mata itu seakan2 berkata, dont worry, things will be ok .... ramai berkata, dia byk mewarisi perangai saya... mungkin juga sbb kami berkongsi zodiak yang sama...
may 2005, dia mengikut ibunya ke luar negara utk selama tiga tahun... ohh ketika itu, Allah saje yg tahu betapa sakitnya tanpa dia di depan mata... masih terngiang2 raungan dia mau mengikut kami pulang ke malaysia... bukan saya sahaja yg terasa ketiadaan dia, malah e whole family in malaysia begitu... kdg kala terpandang baju dia, mainan dia, air mata itu bisa meleleh deh.... dan bila mendengar cerita2 yg dia juga tidak betah hidup di sana, lagilah terasa kesedihan itu... kerana dia, ibu saya sanggup belajar menggunakan YM dan webcam walaupun terkial2 demi utk melihat perkembangan cucunya....
akhirnya, ketentuan Allah pada saya utk menyambung pelajaran di sini ada hikmahnya walaupun perancangan asal adalah di tempat lain.... saya dapat bersama dgn dia kembali, jarak antara kami hanyalah sejam perjalanan, hampir setiap minggu pasti kami bertemu, dan dia kerap bertanya kenapa saya tidak duduk serumah dgn dia, jawapan yg diberikan tidak memuaskan hati dia.. dia mahukan saya sentiasa bersama dia... that is so sweet my dear! ikut hati mmg saya maukan begitu tapi mana mungkin begitu.... namun berada sedekat ini dengan dia sudah mencukupi bagi saya, kerana dia, saya masih waras walau apa pun yg berlaku ke atas diri saya... kerana dia, saya masih mampu ketawa gembira walaupun ada waktunya hati saya hancur berderai... di sini, tiada lagi aktiviti teh tarik session tapi digantikan dgn aktiviti bermain2 di park dan menikmat scones&hot choc di coffee shop... kerana kasih dan sayang dari anak sekecil 4 tahun ini, saya rasakan hidup ini mmg bermakna...

to my dear fi, walau nakal mcm mana pun kamu, walau mcm mana kamu buat CN marah, i will always love you...
and to the parents of fi, terima kasih sbb memberikan saya ruang utk bersama fi

cerita baru

2006-05-17T04:58:00.000+01:00

ini adalah blog kedua saya...
ucapan selamat tinggal kepada blog pertama terpaksa dilakukan walaupun dengan hati yg sangat berat kerana saya tidak mampu lagi utk menulis di situ.. terlalu byk kenangan dan coretan disitu... tapi itulah harga yg perlu dibayar apabila menonjolkan diri di alam maya ini..sesiapa sahaja boleh mencapainya... dan oleh kerana saya tidak mahu ada hati-hati yang akan terluka.. sebaik mungkin saya akan cuba utk kekal anon ... semoga tidak akan ada hati-hati yg terluka lagi selepas ini...
jika ada yg membaca ini dan merasakan pernah berjumpa dgn lenggok bahasa ini... selamat datang kembali...
kepada pembaca2 baru... selamat dtg....