Rindu
rindu ini bertandang lagi
singkat akal
ada yg terbang £800
utk pulang ke tanahair
tapi..
mana mungkin....
ada yg kena kerat 10 karang....
kerja yg satu ni pun tak siap2 lagi...
tapi..
rindulahhh....
begini rupanya rasa rindu ya...
pedih...
sedih..
sakit...
tiap2 hari gambar itu pasti ditatap..
dah jadi wallpaper pc mahupun hp..
walaupun..
hampir setiap hari bertukar berita...
namun...
aku rindu akan hilai tawa adik2 aku...
aku rindu akan suara, pelukan dan belaian ibuku..
aku rindu akan lawak jenaka ayahku..
aku rindu utk menyakat bibik...
aku rindu utk bercerita tentang apa saje dgn D n WF....
aku rindu akan kurtbarb dan suku sakatnya..
aku rindu pada KC dan si teleng...
aku rindu akan kicauan burung ditepi tingkap bilikku...
aku rindu dihambat tugas2 melayan kerenah pelajar...
aku rindu berbaju kurung pada hari jumaat....
terselit juga rasa rindu pada jazzy dan gajah....
arrghhh.... rindunya pada semua itu....
BENGANG!!!
im sort of bengang with this guy, we are in the same research team, since he is not from an academia background, dia kurang appreciate kepentingan a few things such as Literature Survey, why it is important to write papers, progress report, trying few methods n so on. I am not saying I am good at this but with my seciput experience i kinda new a little bit tricks on how to play in this field. Anyhow, he is brilliant, he can master the Matlab in one week while i will take ages to know HOW to use it, not even master it, and he likes to help others on doing the lab work. That is his advantage which i see will help him A LOT to go through this PhD.
With a pushy and very demanding SV, both of us mmg easily get tensed, he likes to share all this with me, at first, it is ok, i just listen to his yick yacking, sometimes i dont agree with his oppinion n sometimes i have to agree tapi being me i malas nak berbalahh, let him spilt out his frustration and anger but lately, it started to affect me. Rasa geram pun ada, lagi2 dia suka sgt menc*rut kalau bercerita..... and i start to have doubt to the SV, which is not a right thing to have. So i kinda started to not really listen to him and try to b as natural as possible. Since dia amat risaukan his 1st year report, i gave him the guidelines provided by the school to him, which was given to me by another friend. I found it is quite helpful but what he said to me really pissed me off...
me: M, do u already have this guidelines? (i show him the guidelines)he looks at the guidelines and said Nome: u can have itM: u know what, this piece of SH*T doesnt help, it changes all the time...masa ni mmg alamakkkkkkk my blood go upstairslaaa... i just walk away from him and say
but still u can use it as guidelines.... n terus sambung buat keje..
i dont really care dia say thank u ke tak... but it is a guidelines ... dah namanya guidelines, mmglaa takkan tunjuk step by step cam ne nak buat report tu but at least adalah things to hold to... penatlaaaaa mcm ni...... kalau semua mende he sees negative.. he is spreading the negative vibes to others... thats itlaaaa man.. i am sooo benganglaaaaa mcm ni!!!!!!!!
Hati dan Jantung
Saya tahu dan amat sedar, perbuatan banding membanding ini satu aktiviti yg amat tidak sihat pada situasi sekarang tetapi saya tidak dapat menahan diri saya dari membuat aktiviti ini. Aktiviti ini memberikan ketidakadilan kepada dia tetapi bagaimana saya mahu mengelakkan perkara ini dari terjadi. Buntu!!! Ikut hati, saya akan buat seperti yg saya lakukan satu ketika dahulu tapi ini tidak memberikan apa2 makna, sudahnya saya juga yang bertambah buntu.
Tambahan pula, tekanan dari aktiviti utama saya di sini (belajar) semakin terasa, hasilnya, semua orang di Malaysia sudah mula bertanya kenapa pipi saya sudah susut.
Ya saya akui, SAYA SEDANG DAN MASIH LAGI MAKAN HATI BERULAM JANTUNG dengan semua yang terjadi sejak saya menjejak kaki di sini. Bukan kerana kisah itu saja tetapi aktviti utama saya kini sudah mula memberikan kesan hebat pada diri saya.
The return of the updates!!
workwisebeen busy lately, cracking my head with some coding between VC++ and Pro Toolkit, nak setup link je ambil masa berhari2, iskkk berkaratnya skill yg satu ni... in one month time i have to submit a report to Mr SV, this time its a big one, 6 mth assessment, padahal baru je 5 bulan time tu.... apa juga yg bakal digorengkan dalam report tu ek... ni baru siapkan the report key research ideas, itu pun amik masa berhari2... adehh... i can see more sleepless nightsss...
2 months already..kejap je ek...dh 2 months... hmm things are going ok la... bak kata D, batu pun boleh lekuk kalau tiap2 hari air menitik.. hmm will see how fast this batu will melekuk.. dlm masa dua bulan ni, inilah yg berlaku
- endless txt/phone calls (sometime got mushy2 one... hehehe)
- red roses and card... (err, eventhough ada cerita kelakar di sini)
- sanggup tu to travel all e way to my house di waktu malam... hmmmmm
- has been my cheerleader so far... well, sedikit sebyk, ia membantu...
- prepared a dish for me.. (isk...segan sehh)..
will see what else will happened ya... :D
on D- im happy laa... really2 happy when u told me abt e E things... insya-allah things will be just fine for both of u.. tell ur abe..not to worry...
- i cant wait for us to celebrate Eid together..
- to all e comments, thanks a lot... D is my BFF
Penaakulan MantikI found this in someone's blog i guess, its about world cup...
Brazil kalah ngan France
Togo kalah ngan France
Adakah ini bermakna Togo sama taraf ngan Brazil... hmmmmm isk isk isk ;)
WC2006when Cannavarro lift the thropy, i was so sad actually.... sbbnya WC dah abis... nothing to look forward at, nothing to watch..... sedihhhnya..sob sob sob... another 4 years plak ek... iskkk.. this is e most memorable WC so far in my life... sbb i managed to watch it in 2 different countries n dun have to stay up pun... hehehehe...
My dearest D
Dear D...
when i logged in to the YM and saw the status, i knew theres something wrong ... i was sad to hear that... feeling the anger and the frustration in you.... and darling D, i wish i were there beside you, i know theres nothing much i can do but i feel that i hv to be by your side at this moment of time.... eventhough we are far apart, but i want u to know, that i am always here for u....
i know u can face this .... be strong and pray to the Almighty, if it is meant to be yours, insya-allah things will sail smoothly for both of u....
whatever will happened, my prayers will always be with you..for your happiness and all the best things in the world...
big bear hugs from me,
isas
ada sisa2 berkabung rupanya pada diri ini apabila melihat team england meninggalkan Baden-baden dan terbang kembali ke tanah airnya, im not that really sad tapi more to frustrated sbb mmg kalau its penalty, i can say confirm england tak pergi ke mana punya.. badi penalty yg amat hebat to them... what touched me was as i tgk my hero rio ferdinand menangis teresak2 .. lagi2 kalah in such ways... if they lost in a full game... tak laa ralat sgt... but this is football kan... games full of action and emotion as i shall put it here....
